What Happens When You Take Time Away ...

Time alone has given me a much greater ability to reflect lately. My wife, Jennifer (better known as Jen), died unexpectedly just a little over two months ago. Jen and I met over six years ago, in March of 2004, shortly after I moved to Cincinnati from Lima. We didn't meet in a particularly "conventional" way for that time period, using the website eHarmony to be matched. A friendship and bond was made and is one I didn't expect to happen as quickly as it did.

I am not using my blog to reflect on the experience of dating, the time of engagement, the wedding itself, the years of marriage ... because in the greater reflection of time, it all feels like it happened almost instantaneously. From the first real date we had on April 2, 2004, until the last day my wife was alive on August 21, 2010, so many things happened. Personally and professionally, I started jobs, I ended jobs, I had bad stretches of unemployment ... my career with oftentimes little direction. Jen's career was stable right up to the point of our actual time to be married, but then her teaching life was never the same again in finding a full-time position after being non-renewed without a valid reason. I continued to work in mostly engineering capacities while she had to accept the role of substitute teaching. I knew her heart wasn't in the work (not having a class to call her own), but she did it anyway, building great experience, learning new things, and endearing herself to so many people.

This school year was going to be different. In the effort to push forward with her Masters degree and to get back into a potential full-time role, she was planning to babysit the children of teachers she knew from the elementary school. Unfortunately, this never came to pass, as school started the week after Jen's death.

I don't know where life was going to lead my wife, but I know she would have finished her degree and become an amazing teacher in special education. I don't know where our life together was going to lead, given my own work track record and not being the husband I wish, in hindsight, I could have been. My own self-reflection of marriage had nothing to do with faithfulness (as we were nothing but faithful to each other) but of my poor ability to be a better communicator of my needs, a poor listener of her needs, and to be a more effective partner in the relationship.

I took for granted that life could be so short, that things could literally change overnight. There was no chance to say "goodbye" because I never expected there to be a need. We both went to sleep, only I awoke and she did not. To this day, I still don't know what took her from me, but all I know is that she's gone.

I questioned the meaning of life before my wife passed, and I question it more now. I question why events like these happen with no reason. Is life merely a game of "chance" and any moment could be our last? The sad but true answer seems to be "yes" ... any moment in time *could* be our last. Something as simple as "live like we're dying" takes on a different meaning now ... although I'm not moving any faster on the "bucket list" or to accomplish major tasks any faster. Death may be imminent or it might be distant ... I really don't know. None of us knows the day it will end because we each have a different clock. Some clocks run longer than others. Some clocks seem to break unexpectedly while others run seemingly without fail.

Habitually, I tend to ramble, and this entry is probably no different than most I have entered. The only exception is that this one comes at a different point in life, where my perspective on things has changed fundamentally. I don't view the world the same today as I did only 11 weeks ago, and I find sadness and doubt where I thought I used to find joy and solace.

I am sure that I will regain the footing that I feel I have lost. I am sure that things will move forward and I will move with them. Realistically, I don't have a choice. I could live in the past or move forward to the future -- the choice seems an obvious one even if it is hard to do. I am honestly not certain what future I want or what goals / aspirations I have other than simply taking each day as it comes, opening myself to opportunities that present themselves, and not closing myself off to what life might bring. I don't think that Jen would want me to live that way because she herself said she aspired to a life of "no regrets" even if there certainly were regrets along the way. Now, I have to learn to do the same.

To paraphrase and close, this new journey has to begin with a single step ... even if there is no particular destination in mind, enjoy the ride there.

Billy Joel and Elton John: Face2Face Concert Event @ US Bank Arena (Cincinnati, OH) - March 10, 2009 Review and Setlist

Re-posted from original content created at BillyJoel.com

March 10, 2009 Concert Review - Billy and Elton F2F @ US Bank Arena (Cincinnati, OH) - With SETLIST and Comments [LONG]

March 11, 2009 - 11:13am — jdrentz

As I fully expected, this performance did not disappoint. This was my fourth time seeing both Billy Joel and Elton John in concert and the third time in the Face-2-Face format. The first two concerts I ever saw were Billy Joel (November 1998 @ Schottenstein Center (OSU campus), Columbus, Ohio) and Elton John (June 1999 (on my birthday) @ EJ Nutter Center (WSU campus), Dayton, Ohio) in two awesome solo performances. I have seen many shows since that time in the 10+ years that followed, but those two shows are still very memorable and among the best.

My only two F2F shows before last night (Tuesday, 3/10) were both in 2003, during the last edition of the duo's touring show. The first was in Columbus (Nationwide Arena, May 2003), and the second was in Detroit (The Palace of Auburn Hills, June 2003). Both shows were awesome, although I thought the second show (in Detroit, as the tour finale) might have been the single-best show I've ever seen. They put on tour-de-force performances knowing that the US Tour was coming to a close ... and the Detroit crowd was rocking.

Since I don't want to dwell only on those past shows, I did want to provide some context for this Cincinnati event. Yes, folks, a F2F show is more than just a "concert" ... it is truly an EVENT. I can honestly say that I have never seen Elton or Billy looking more physically fit, active, or energetic than I did last night. WOW ... simply amazing piano work, great vocals, and a passion for performance that most singers and musicians today take for granted. Without further adieu, here is the night’s setlist:

[7:30 PM Ticket Start Time … 7:42 PM Actual Start]
EJ & BJ on stage together (Elton stage right and Billy stage left) facing each other on baby grand pianos … no band members on stage to begin
1. YOUR SONG – As expected, a great show opening … EJ gets a HUGE crowd response when he starts his line of “If was a sculptor …” after BJ sings the opening line.
2. JUST THE WAY YOU ARE – No real surprise based on prior F2F shows I’ve seen … but a shame that “Honesty” was ditched on this night (based on the other show reviews I saw). BJ got his HUGE crowd response on the second line as well … for singing, “Don’t go trying some new fashion …”
3. DON’T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME – EJ’s band makes it’s first appearance … rising from sub-stage level onto the upper platform.
4. MY LIFE – BJ’s band arises as EJ’s band lowers below … thunderous applause on the rising and dropping band members from the crowd (for whatever reason … I guess the floor was impressed). Among my favorite BJ songs … EJ doesn’t do it justice (sorry Elton).
[BJ exits … time for EJ to go solo]
5. FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND / LOVE LIES BLEEDING – EJ says “hello” to Cincinnati and opens playing an album track we’re fully expecting (from past F2F shows)
6. SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALRIGHT (FOR FIGHTING) – Fun, fun song in concert … crowd gets very energetic
7. BURN DOWN THE MISSION – Just as everyone is lifted to his/her feet, most take their bio break during this song … or the next one
8. MADMAN ACROSS THE WATER – A classic album track from the classic album of the same name … with all of the piano play and band “features”, it could be shortened to make room for another of his classics instead (just my two cents)
9. TINY DANCER – One of my favorite EJ songs (still plays very well)
10. GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD – Simply a classic (and expected)
11. DANIEL – Ditto that last remark … a lot of “sing-a-long” in this part of the set
12. ROCKET MAN – Who doesn’t know Elton’s first mega-hit? EVERYONE knows this song … and, if they don’t, why were they here?
13. LEVON – A classic hit … going way over the head of the younger part of the crowd but a fan favorite for classic Elton fans
14. I’M STILL STANDING – Gets the crowd back up and dancing
15. CROCODILE ROCK – Never lets them sit down … a fun song from beginning to end … and who doesn’t like the crowd interaction on the “na … na na na na na …” parts of the song?!? A fun way to end the solo set…
[EJ exits and BJ reenters to perform his solo set]
16. ANGRY YOUNG MAN – The absolute best piano song to begin the set with a high-level energy unmatched by most of the BJ catalog … I love this song in concert
17. MOVIN’ OUT (ANTHONY’S SONG) – Thanks to the Broadway hit, this song has become all the more recognized and played … not that it wasn’t already a hit back in the day
18. ALLENTOWN – A very appropriate song in today’s economic woes … even if it was targeted at Pennsylvania of the late 1970s and early 1980s … switch “steel mills” for “auto factories” and you have the same scenario
19. ZANZIBAR – Expected only because I saw the earlier concert reviews … not my favorite BJ album track by any stretch … whatever happened to “Summer Highland Falls” or “Miami 2017” in the rotation? I saw SHF at the Detroit show (if memory serves) … and I was blown away by it in concert. Even “Miami” would be a great fit in the same vein as “Allentown” … but I understand that this is Billy’s “bio break” song in the set [and “Miami 2017” might just be too energetic]
20. SHE’S ALWAYS A WOMAN – I remember the time period when he wouldn’t play this song … now I kind of miss “New York State of Mind” or the aforementioned “Summer Highland Falls” … but the crowd generally loves this song
21. SCENES FROM AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT – He dedicated this absolute classic gem to his “Aunt Mert” in Dayton, who he said was watching in the audience. Funny enough, I remember him dedicating a song to her in Columbus in 2003 as well … I just don’t remember if it was this one.
22. RIVER OF DREAMS – One of the first BJ songs that simply hooked me for life … I even had it played (by request) during my senior graduation slide show (since it was released in 1993 during my senior year).
22a. HANG ON SLOOPY (interlude) – I would be remiss to leave out the page taken from the “Bruce Springsteen playbook” … The Boss played “Sloopy” in Columbus when I saw him there in 1999 (along with the great “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” since it was December and a rescheduled event as well)
23. WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE – One of my favorites … even if it seems dated now that it’s a shocking 20-years-old this year … tracking Billy’s first 40 years of life from 1949 to 1989 … I still learned a lot of history thanks to this song.
24. IT’S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME – His shadow boxing and fun on stage jumping, dancing, and hopping about is about as classic Billy as it gets … I LOVE IT!
25. ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG – I almost wish he’d play the “reggae” version for the fun of it … but maybe I’m one of the few who likes the unreleased reggae track (ala Bob Marley) versus the original release (that almost everybody knows)
[BJ ends his solo set as EJ reemerges to join him onstage for the joint finale with ALL band members together along with the duo]
26. I GUESS THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT THE BLUES – A classic Elton pick … one of personal favorites of EJ’s catalog … I guess I just relate to the lyrics (thanks Bernie Taupin) that hit home for me.
27. UPTOWN GIRL – It doesn’t get much bigger for Billy as a hit … probably the closest thing to the “career-defining” track in his catalog (featuring ex-wife Christie Brinkley in the video, of course) … it just doesn’t fit his grittier, older voice these days … I would personally love to hear “Tell Her About It”, “The Longest Time”, or “Keeping The Faith” from that same album if given the choice (over “Uptown Girl”) … I’m sure the EJ-only fans wouldn’t know them nearly as well (if at all)
28. B*TCH IS BACK – Wow, Elton was as energetic as I’ve ever seen him on stage (not counting the long-ago days when he younger and thinner) … twice climbing on top of his piano and once jumping down to the delight of his fans
29. YOU MAY BE RIGHT – Among my favorite Billy songs of all-time … still a classic and joy to watch
30. BENNIE AND THE JETS – What a great mano-a-mano piano performance for both EJ and BJ
31. BIRTHDAY (Beatles cover) – Seemingly an “odd” cover to choose … although EJ’s birthday is coming soon (3/25), BJ’s birthday isn’t until May (5/9) … whatever happened to Beatles’ covers like “Hard Day’s Night” … maybe even an Elvis cover (like Billy has done in “All Shook Up”) … since they did the following song, how about a Beach Boys cover (ala “Good Vibrations”, “Don’t Worry Baby”, or the like)
32. BACK IN THE USSR (Beatles cover) – I can understand this one (to a degree) … but I don’t think it fits well at this point in the show … WAY TOO MANY other fine choices from their own respective catalogs (no need to rehash earlier thoughts)
[Band members exit to leave the stage looking identical to how the show began … just Billy and Elton on stage face-to-face at the pianos … and we know what’s coming]
33. CANDLE IN THE WIND – Final “encore” (of sorts, since they never left the stage) … no real surprise to be played for Elton, especially with just the facing pianos
34. PIANO MAN – The ONLY way to end a F2F show … when this gets played, we all know (unfortunately) that the show is almost over … although they gave us a moment of doubt (when the house lights took a few minutes to come up)
[Show over @ ~11 PM just shy of three-and-a-half (3.5) hours … and AWESOME AGAIN, as usual, with almost no breaks in the action]

The "stripped down" setlist without remarks ...
1. YOUR SONG
2. JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
3. DON’T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME
4. MY LIFE
5. FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND / LOVE LIES BLEEDING
6. SATURDAY NIGHT’S ALRIGHT (FOR FIGHTING)
7. BURN DOWN THE MISSION
8. MADMAN ACROSS THE WATER
9. TINY DANCER
10. GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD
11. DANIEL
12. ROCKET MAN
13. LEVON
14. I’M STILL STANDING
15. CROCODILE ROCK
16. ANGRY YOUNG MAN
17. MOVIN’ OUT (ANTHONY’S SONG)
18. ALLENTOWN
19. ZANZIBAR
20. SHE’S ALWAYS A WOMAN
21. SCENES FROM AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT
22. RIVER OF DREAMS
22a. HANG ON SLOOPY (interlude)
23. WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE
24. IT’S STILL ROCK AND ROLL TO ME
25. ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG
26. I GUESS THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT THE BLUES
27. UPTOWN GIRL
28. B*TCH IS BACK
29. YOU MAY BE RIGHT
30. BENNIE AND THE JETS
31. BIRTHDAY (Beatles cover)
32. BACK IN THE USSR (Beatles cover)
33. CANDLE IN THE WIND
34. PIANO MAN

Sorry for the length ... for anyone waiting for an upcoming show, HAVE FUN!

The Barber of Saint Marys: A Tribute to My Father (Part I)

Barack Obama has nothing on me. He wrote a book entitled "Dreams from My Father" in which he chronicled a story of "Race and Inheritance", as the book is subtitled. Obama never actually grew up with his biological father, who abandoned him with his mother at a young age. He probably developed a great deal of resent and anger for his father's actions but chose to overcome the "neglect" and "absence" by becoming a stronger, more optimistic individual.

My story is quite different ...

My biological father is Gerald Rentz, the barber of Saint Marys, Ohio, who has been cutting hair in the small city in Auglaize County for nearly 50 years. FIFTY YEARS ... that's longer than many people live ... longer than MOST people work ... a half-century establishing himself as the barber of three generations (or more). I cannot even imagine what he means to the thousands of customers who have walked through the door of his small shop on Spring Street in downtown Saint Marys.

Most of his customer base is aging, while the younger set has fallen away to go to the malls and chain discounters who offer styles at cheaper prices. He is a man set in his ways, having fixed his price at $10 many years ago already, after having it set around $7 to $8 for a very long time. The price of a haircut has hardly stayed in line with overall economic inflation, where staples like milk, eggs, soda, and gasoline have doubled in price in recent years.

What makes my dad, part of a dwindling breed of male barbers from an era long ago, different? What has established him as THE longest-tenured barber still working in the area full-time? He is cut from a cloth that my own grandmother, a widowed mother raising three sons, established many years earlier. I will save my grandmother's story (rest her soul) for another day and another time ... she was a remarkable woman who still manages to impact my life in countless ways. My grandfather, my namesake, died in 1943. My father was born in 1940, the youngest of three brothers, following in the footsteps of his oldest half-brother Eugene and his middle brother Harold. Why my grandmother named her children Eugene, Harold, and Gerald is a mystery to me ... but all of them shortened their respective names to the more sociable Gene, Harry, and Jerry. Gene was a military man, having served in World War II, considerably older than my father. Harry, born in 1938, was closest to my dad, but their relationship could hardly be described as anything greater than "sibling rivalry" when it came to competing for my grandmother's love and attention.

Grandma Henrietta (who would have been cooler as a "Hank" or something else) was a cool woman ... possibly too cool for the time period in which she lived. Grandpa John was an older man (possibly 15 to 20 years her senior) who befriended my grandmother after she had given birth to my uncle Gene out of wedlock. A single mother in the 1930s wasn't looked upon kindly, especially when the real, biological father was unknown (to everyone except for grandma, the father, and possibly the immediate family). The Zahn family, one of the more "prominent" names in the area, treated Gene like one of their own until John Rentz adopted him as his own son somewhere in the mid-to-late 1930s. To be honest, I'm not sure that Grandma and Grandpa Rentz got married because they HAD TO get married (grandma was "with child" (Harry) again) OR because they truly loved each other. Grandpa John was a travelling musician back in the day (his stories must have been legendary) as a fiddle player in a country band. Grandma worked on the farm with her many sisters and brothers. As a quick summary, she had older brother Paul (who died a young age in a car wreck), younger brother Urban (a multi-millionaire entrepreneur who owned the Chickasaw Machine and Tool), and younger sisters (twins) Iola (who lived in Saint Henry) and Viola (married a Stammen who lived in Coldwater) as well as Mary (who married Charles Hueslman, who lived in Chickasaw, across the street from my grandmother's house). I came to know my great aunts very well (probably better than I wanted to know) when Grandma would visit all of them throughout the summers I spent with her. Again, this is Dad's story, not Grandma's, so I will digress on this topic.

Dad was only three-years-old when Grandpa John died. Stories say that he died due to complications from kidney stones (very possible), but, of equal possibility, he may have had cancer (spreading to the kidneys) possibly from the liver or pancreas. He was only in his mid-to-late 50's. My grandmother was 36. Of horrible irony agewise, my uncle (my godfather) Harry also died in his 50's of a massive heart attack (failure of a coronary artery), which still haunts me to this day. If the track record for males in this family is any indication, I have a 50-50 shot to die in my fifties or make it to my 70's or beyond. Thankfully, my father is in the latter camp (now pushing 69 in March), heading closer each year towards Grandma's "record" of 95, which my father claims he doesn't want to reach (he hurts too much already, he says).

Within the year of my grandfather's death, my grandmother needed steady income beyond the farm and went to work for Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company in Saint Marys. She sold the farm, located midway between Chickasaw and Saint Marys, and moved into town in Chickasaw down the street from sister Mary and brother-in-law Charlie as well as a block away from brother Urban, whose business was less than a quarter-mile to the north on Chickasaw Road. Interestingly, her property also sat on the opposite bank of the Chickasaw Creek from the Rentz Family Farm, not immediate family but second cousins, which sat on the East side of the creek on State Route 274. Because the Rentz family was well-known in the area for their large real estate holdings (extensive farm ground owned throughout Mercer and Auglaize counties), my father was assumed to have the "Rentz money" (which, unfortunately, I suppose, he owned or was entitled to none).

There were some family "firsts" worth noting. Great-uncle Urban, as I noted, owned the first major business in Chickasaw, which has since been passed within the "family" to my cousin's families (LaVern Heitkamp, Dan Bruns, and (I believe) Steve Heitkamp), who bought out Urban as full-time owners of the business. LaVern is my Dad's first or second cousin (on the Zahn side), same goes for Steve. Dan's dad, Julius, was a farmer who lived next to Charlie and Mary's house on Franklin Street (on the north side of the road from where my grandmother eventually built her own home). The Rentz family, which consisted of Grandma, Uncle Harry, and my Dad, moved into the home on Maple Street (running perpendicular into Franklin Street) adjacent to the Catholic Church (Precious Blood) on the South side of the property. My grandmother was a devout Catholic (who had clearly reformed from her "wilder" youth by her late-30's) who went to Church every Sunday (usually on Saturday evening in her older age) as well as EVERY holy day of obligation. You haven't lived life until you go to Church four straight days for Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday in succession. Those days are HELL (pardon my irony for celebrating the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ) with some of the longest readings and Gospel passages known to man.

Anyway, Grandma worked for Goodyear until the mid-1970s while my uncle Harry and father Jerry went to school (St. John's in Maria Stein, which become Marion Local after the local schools consolidated in the mid-1950's). As a sidenote, my father went to school for a year in Minster as the new school was being built for Marion Local High School, and he graduated as the FIRST class (of 1958) from Marion, even though (technically) he never really went to school there. I also graduated from Marion Local in 1994, a little bit better academically (as valedictorian) than my father (who was a B-average student), but there is no doubt in my mind that my Dad is a smarter-than-average man.

Instead of going to college (something I believe he still regrets to this day), his brother Gene convinced him to go to barber school (something he had done years earlier after military discharge and older brother Harry was also considering). Why be a barber in the late-1950's? The pay was good, the work was steady, the economy was strong ... we were between wars (Korean and Vietnam), and John F. Kennedy, America's first Catholic president, was about to take office. Clearly, the market timing to be a barber was right ... until the late 1960s.

For those with memories only to the 1980s or 1990s, you may think that "long hair" is a current fashion statement that your parents could not POSSIBLY understand. Check out pictures of your grandparents, then ... circa 1968 or 1969 ... and tell me how a barber managed to survive in those lean years of long hair, "hippie power", and Woodstock. The 1970's weren't much better, as my Dad saw his income steadily decline and the requests for the short cuts of the past (like the flat-top or the crew cut) go out of fashion. Clearly, the cycle was destined to repeat itself (eventually) as the 1980's dawned, and, in my personal belief, it took an "old-fashioned" President (Ronald Reagan) as well as the rebirth of Conservatism to see haircuts get shorter, flat-tops become "cool" again, and, generally speaking, business to be good.

For all of those years, from the early 1960s until the early 1990s, Dad was in a partnership with Harry. For over 30 years, he stood by, as the "younger" brother, the "lesser" partner, because that's just how it was. The shop's look was old, with model cars on the mantle from the 1960's, and Dad readily admitted he was thinking of breaking away from Harry permanently because their relationship had grown apart over time. There is great truth to the statement that you should NOT go into business with your family ... Harry and Jerry, as partners of Rentz Barber Shop, were clearly the model for what NOT to do over time. Yes, their banter was enjoyable. Yes, they argued a LOT over the years. Most days, my father came home angry, ready to kick the dog with another story about how Harry had "pissed him off" again that day. They needed to be apart as business associates ... their familial relationship had been strained and compromised because of it.

When Harry died suddenly in 1993, it was an awakening for my father. Considering it was 15 years ago last September, which seems almost too long ago to be real, I never got to see my godfather at my graduation. I stood on the podium, giving my valedictory speech to an audience that was one short.

... I apologize for needing to stop at this point. I am overcome with sadness over a loss I've never fully accepted. I cannot believe I was only only 17 when Harry died, and I am honestly struggling with it right now. I miss him.

Rest In Peace, Harold Rentz (1938-1993). The Lord took you too young at 55 that year ... you were a Gemini (born June 21) just like me, and I fully understand why you fought with my father. You never felt appreciated ... even though you did far more for your community than they ever understood or recognized. I thank you ... and Chickasaw (as well as Saint Marys) should thank you ... for a good life lived.

PART II of The Barber of Saint Marys will continue in my next post ... thanks for reading.

Post-script Editorial Note: For MORE information about my father, please read this informative piece from the Evening Leader in Saint Marys that was done earlier this month (January 2009) covering my Dad. He has also been covered by the Lima News, the Evening Leader (previously), and the Community Post (now defunct (I think)) in Minster, Ohio. My former guidance counselor, Ivan Knapp, covered Dad last year in an article he wrote for his photographic web journal as well. I will need to find the link there as well for next time.